A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP - By: Rev Ronald McFadden

My friend emailed this to me today, and I wanted to share, because it is soooooo true!!! :)

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong? Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to
control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.

Remember for richer or for poorer.
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United'
and 'Untied'
is where you put the i.

Sleeping in... What's that?!?!?!

So I stayed up till 2 am last night, worried that I will not get enough sleep, because by the time I WANT to wake up, I will be still snoozing from my Peaceful, Relaxing, Happy Dreams....

HA! It Does Not Work That Way Anymore!!!

Oh yes, SURE I "Slept-In" if that is what you WANT to call it........... but I do not consider 7:30am a TRUE "sleep-in time"!!!! NO I call that a MAJOR RIP OFF!!!

So my body is on this little schedule now, called "I-have-a job-and-have-to-get-up-for-work everyday" Psssfffffffffftttttttttt! Work-Smiirck!

I want to sleep in dammit!!! I want to enjoy LAZING around in bed!!! I want to stay under the covers and "sleep my life away!"

What the hell is this 7:30am crap??? It's Definitely NOT Fair... I know that!!!

OK sureeeeee you might say.......... you really DID sleep in......... considering my "NORMAL" wake up time is between 5 and 5:30am... but COME ON!!!!!! whooooooopdy do daaaaaaaa!!! I can't catch a break this once, and sleep in PAST 7:30????

What the Hell!?!?!?!?!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

I remember back in the good ole days when sleeping in didn't take any effort at all! Hell, if I were to "sleep in" on a work day I am sure I could be in bed till Noon!!! But Saturday Mornin, Here I am UP at the CRACK OF FRIGGIN DAWN!!!!!!!!!

Oh and back a few years ago, it would be NOTHING to sleep a good solid 12 hours, and wake up still tired!!! Back then it would have taken nothing short of a Crow-Bar and a Fog Horn to pry my TIRED ass outta bed! LOL

I guess this is the beginning of a pattern that will not have the opportunity to be broken... as long as that lil pesky "work thing" hangs around!

Hmmmmmmmmmmppppffffffhhhhhh! Work-Smiirck!!!

...What were they thinking??!?!?! :S

OK, so I was casually browsing facebook the other day, when I came across the updates of a few people....

I thought, hmmmmm I have some time to kill, and I want to look at some pictures so why not!?

....Well trust me.... I soon found out WHY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Shit!!! What are people thinking?? LOL

...Well, clearly you might add... they are NOT... sadly... I came to that realization!

I was glancing at all these "Random Shots" and next thing you know, I am staring at some Ugly Nasty Dirty Ho.... not your typical Garden variety... no, oddly enough she was still just as Dirty! lol

Yea, so as I was saying... I initially think I am going to be checking out some scenic views, but boy o boy, my poor lil eyes didn't know what scars they would soon gain!!!

Make the Skank's Pictures Go Away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLAH!!!!!

...and did I mention she is RUINING a perfectly GOOD name?!?!?! Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Gag me with a wooden spoon!

Who wants to see some ole nasty sleeze's bush?! ...I mean in the bush... lol ;)

Anyways... I always thought Dirty Thoughts were fun... THIS definitley was NOT what I had in mind!

Let me just make one point....

"PEOPLE when you put pictures on facebook, others Do Occassionaly glance... for the same voyeuristic reasons my talented cuz mentioned.... but COME ON>>>>> let's keep it G Rated!!!! There are Children on this website!!! AND innocent family members, perusing pics.... no one Wants or Needs to see ANY Nasty Snatch ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

...What were they thinking??? .... Clearly they ARE NOT!!! YUCK!

If their intent is to hurt or make anyone jealous.....

YES IT HURT!!!!

HURT MY FREAKIN EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT BURNNNNNNNSSS!!!!

IT BURNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

MAKE IT STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!

....Ever have the thought...

I've decided that I hate Tablespoons!

I have to admit, this is not a Recent decision, it was one made years and years ago... but I've decided to actually take action on it.

When I moved into my new place, I refused to buy any Tablespoons! Of course I did take One Single Solitary Ugly Giant Table Spoon with me, but, that was out of the kindness in my heart for my guests.

It is not everyone who shares in my disgust for "Big Spoons"! lol

I've filled my cutlery holder with plenty of teaspoons, and forks, that to me TOTALLY justifies my actions! :)

Next time you think of grabbing a spoon out of your drawer, DONT search for that giant Tablespoon that will allow you to mindlessly shovel tonnes of food into your body! Grab that sweet little spoon so you can savour the flavour! :)

Ooooooooooh Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Little Spoons DO Deserve Our Love! :)

Just Say NO to Tablespoons!!! :)

...Some things never change!!!

In preparation for a Thursday morning not so long ago, I decided that I would get up "Extra Early" and make sure I didn't miss the bus for the 2nd time that week...

I thought I had it all figured out... I had a "plan of action"!!!

Wednesday night I set my alarm clock 45 minutes earlier than it was previously set, and I went to bed nice and early... excellent idea... on the right track...

...I dragged my slack and lazy ass out of bed after only pressing the snooze once! :) ...yaaaaay! Still up 30 minutes early!!! This is awesome! I'm going to have such an excellent day!!!!

I rushed around the house, grabbed a quick bowl of cereal, and got ready in break-neck speed!

I called the "Go Number" for my bus stop and I was super excited! I finally was going to make it to my bus on time!!!!!

At last check I had 11 minutes to do a 2 minute walk... smooth sailing! No problemo!!

Wooooooooo! The sun was starting to come out, and you could just tell it was going to be a hot and toasty day!

What could possibly go wrong?!

......... Well nothing, IF METRO TRANSIT ACTUALLY GAVE A RAT'S ABOUT THEIR CUSTOMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...NOT that I'm bitter or anything.....

But as I was only moments away from my bus stop, another 30 seconds really... ZOOOOM! There goes my bus, full-tilt! Cruisin on by my bus stop, without so much as even slowing down!!!!!

I was like What the Hell is this?!?!?!?! I called Go Time right that second to hear the stupid little recording saying 9 minutes until go time... can you freakin imagine?!?!?!!?

So, there was my mood, shot to HELL!!! I turn around, and walk allllllllllllllllll the way back down the gigantic hill I just climbed... and continued on all the way to the bottom to my car in the last parking lot...

I jump in my car, and have to drive across the bridge, yes, paying the toll and burning up precious fuel...... and park directly in front of my old house that I moved away from mere days ago!

.....................Imagine my neighbors' suprise as I casually stroll out of my car, and start to sneak off back to my old bus stop.............. not so fast there missy!!!! ........... Where have you been? Didn't you move? Did he move? What is going on? I haven't seen you around all week....

Twenty thousand questions, and as you have already guessed... yes, I am already late for work!!!!!!

so I casually mention that yes, in fact I DID move away from there, and yes I DO miss my neighbors, but No I will not be moving back in... and so on and so forth...

So off I go again, to catch the next bus to come along at my old bus stop....

Isn't it wonderful how even after driving over 1/2 way... I still have to park and take the bus to avoid the "learned-the-hard-way" fact that it is not a good idea to park down town where the price will cost you a measly thousand dollars before lunchtime...

........Some days I think are better to have slept through....

or......... one might not blame one-self... but maybe... I dont know........ hmmmmmmm........ who...... who could possibly be at FAULT.......??!??!?!?!? I don't know.............

WAIT!!!!!! Yes I do!!! Yes I doooooooooo know who is at fault............. METRO TRANSIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Until TODAY Go time (According to their trusty little pre-recorded messages) said 7:04am.... but NO ... NOT today.... Today... it said "Go Time 6:50 am........

Guess what .... today.............. I CAUGHT THE BUS............................... the message was telling me the right time... therefore allowing me plenty of time to get my sweet ass up the DAMN hill!!!!!

Why?!?!?! Why do you torture me Evil Metro Transit Voice Recording!?!?!?

Who Ever Said Taking the Bus is Easy?!?!?!

Ok, so first off, I would like to say: I'm sorry that I am most of the below...

In my defence.... ..la la la... hmmmm..... shiot... i got nothing! lol :)

No... actually, I had been working with Assistant Judge Advocate General's Office, and I was working a lot of over time for the past few weeks. Then I finished my position, working there last Thursday, and still went back in on Friday to wrap up a few things...

Monday I started my new job! Yeaaaaaaaaah, that's right!!! my NEW JOB!!!

Unfortunately, it is another CASUAL position, which means, I can only work for 90 working days per calendar year, per department. So as of Sept. 14th, I will be job hunting again! My new job is with Public Works and Government Services, yes, you heard correctly, I am quite importante!! lol (make sure you pronounce that correctly... that is IM-POR-TON- TAY! LOL)

Anyways, yes, today was ONLY my Second day of work, but let me tell you, I'm adjusting pretty nicely! :)

Let me tell you........ It's not easy sitting around waiting for HR to finish the paper work, and waiting for IT Dept to send me my necessary passwords from Head Quarters!

...and having to adjust to this ReLaXeD Environment, come on... it's rough I tell ya! lol Joke!

I really am loving it, it's a pretty cool job... I'm learning lots, and the people are wonderful! This is going to be a sweet summer!! :)

I've taken up walking.. ya, that's right... at $1 Million dollars per month for parking... anyone would gladly take up walking! lol

Downtown Halifax is not the place you want to look for parking!!!!! At least not if you plan to be in the office for 8 hours at a time!!! I figured walking 2 1/2 km per day is much better than paying top dolla!

Also, I've learned how to take the bus! yaay! Now, that is something I didn't think I would be doing! :)

So, here I was yesterday, walking to my bus stop in my sweet ass shoes and lookin all cute for my first day of work... I am almost to the end of my street, and I'm rushing my ass off to make it, and I'm stressing because I never took the bus like this before...

and la la la la there goes my bus Zooming down the hill!!! ....WITHOUT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! not so good!

So, I continue to walk to the bus stop in hopes that another bus will come along... and yes, they did, one right after the other... all of them more than willing to take me across the bridge to Dartmouth, but none going to Downtown Halifax!!!!!!!!!

So here I am talking to random strangers, having a flip-out-attack screaming into my phone as my honey is trying to explain to me that if i cross the street a bus will come from Dartmouth across the bridge and pick me up and take me to Scotia Square, which is only a few blocks from my work! But that is like telling me to learn to speak Greek in 2 minutes and be fluent! Impossible!!!! I was dead-set on staying put! I wanted to wait for the next bus that will come along... I dont want to run across 4 lanes of traffic to get on a bus I dont know anything about, in the off-chance they decide to go the opposite way and leave me there totally screwed!!!!

So anyways after a brutal 12 minute-long agonizing wait... along came my bus, and I jumped on!!

Off I was... on my way to my new job, scared to death to be on a bus, wondering to myself when should I pull that stupid cord, and if I pull the cord, when will the bus actually stop.... should I pull it way before the next stop?? Are there more stops along the way that I don't know about, and will they expect me to get off the bus if I ask it to stop before I should!?!?!

Oh my nerves!!!!!!! Anyways, I pulled the cord before my stop, and to my suprise, yes, the bus DID stop right then!!! It was ok though, I got to walk down hill to my work instead of uphill, cause I got off a block too early! lol ....Good Times!!! I think I got the hang of it...

But I have to admit, after the stress yesterday morning caused, I walked home after work.... and walked back to work this morning! :) I feel that I make better time than the bus actually did! lol

Anyways, this is my bus experience for the week... I might walk to work tomorrow morning again, hard to say... I might just jump on any old bus and see where I end up.... Hard to say!!!

What I do know is... I have a shit-load of bus tickets in my pocket just burning a hole! lol They just can't wait to get all used up, cruisin on good ole metro transit! lol :) Good Times! :)

((I especially would like to mention the entertainment a bus can cause.... like how yesterday morning some man practically fell on the woman beside me, because he wasnt even sitting down when the bus driver decided it would be an excellent time to take off into the full line-up of traffic! lol))

Now that's just good clean fun! lol :)

...So Apparently I am a slacker.... Didn't we KNOW that?!?!?! lol :) ... Not sure... see below! :)

slack1 /slæk/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[slak] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1.
not tight, taut, firm, or tense; loose: a slack rope.
2.
negligent; careless; remiss: slack proofreading.
3.
slow, sluggish, or indolent: He is slack in answering letters.
4.
not active or busy; dull; not brisk: the slack season in an industry.
5.
moving very slowly, as the tide, wind, or water.
6.
weak; lax.
7.
Nautical. easy (def. 15a). –adverb
8.
in a slack manner. –noun
9.
a slack condition or part.
10.
the part of a rope, sail, or the like, that hangs loose, without strain upon it.
11.
a decrease in activity, as in business or work: a sudden slack in output.
12.
a period of decreased activity.
13.
Geography. a cessation in a strong flow, as of a current at its turn.
14.
a depression between hills, in a hillside, or in the land surface.
15.
Prosody. (in sprung rhythm) the unaccented syllable or syllables.
16.
British Dialect. a morass; marshy ground; a hollow or dell with soft, wet ground at the bottom. –verb (used with object)
17.
to be remiss in respect to (some matter, duty, right, etc.); shirk; leave undone: He slacked the most important part.
18.
to make or allow to become less active, vigorous, intense, etc.; relax (efforts, labor, speed, etc.); lessen; moderate (often fol. by up).
19.
to make loose, or less tense or taut, as a rope; loosen (often fol. by off or out).
20.
to slake (lime). –verb (used without object)
21.
to be remiss; shirk one's duty or part.
22.
to become less active, vigorous, rapid, etc. (often fol. by up): Business is slacking up.
23.
to become less tense or taut, as a rope; to ease off.
24.
to become slaked, as lime. —Idiom
25.
take up the slack,
a.
to pull in or make taut a loose section of a rope, line, wire, etc.: Take up the slack before releasing the kite.
b.
to provide or compensate for something that is missing or incomplete: New sources of oil will take up the slack resulting from the embargo.
[Origin: bef. 900; ME slac (adj.), OE sleac, slæc; c. ON slakr, OHG slach, L laxus lax] —Related forms
slack·ing·ly, adverb
slackly, adverb
slackness, noun
—Synonyms 1. relaxed. 2. lazy, weak. 3. dilatory, tardy, late. 4. idle, quiet. 11. slowing, relaxation. 17. neglect. 18. reduce, slacken. 21. malinger.

Bonjour!

I will write something when I have more time, but feel free to show love now! :)

Mel